As the year has rung in I have been trying to tap into myself and my relationships lately. I have been reading the book Attached by Amir Levine and have been struggling to get through it just because I need to set aside personal time dedicated to reading it. But a concept in that book is attachment styles and love languages.
Love languages have always been fascinating to me. We each have a love language specific to us, or multiple, and it is how we accept and want love in our lives. Discovering your partner’s love language is key to having a good and healthy relationship. (Not like I would know this is just for personal research, ha)
The five love languages are as follows:
- words of affirmation
- receiving gifts
- quality time
- acts of service
- physical touch
Words of Affirmation:
With the words of affirmation love language, words speak louder than anything else. This type of person appreciates kind words and being built up by words of affection. Simple phrases mean a lot to them, such as a simple “thank you” or “I appreciate you” moves mountains for them. Notes and expressions of love are what hits home for them, how they prefer to be loved. On the downside negative words hurt them a lot more than people who don’t have this love language. Choosing words wisely with this person can make or break your relationship.
The love language of receiving gifts is pretty self explanatory. This type of person finds the most love when people give them gifts or make them a gift that shows them that they thought of them. They believe that a gift shows them that their significant other understands what they love and goes out of their way to get it for them.
The quality time love language focuses on spending time with their significant other. Doing anything with their significant brings extreme joy to this person and is how they feel most loved. Just being in the presence of their significant other makes them happy, even doing nothing with them. This partner hates spending time apart from their significant other and long distance is often a deal-breaker or extremely hard for this relationship. If you are dating someone with this love language it is important to reprioritize so they feel like a priority in your life. Having a conversation with eye contact and actual listening skills is important too.
Acts of Service:
Setting up and making dinner, doing chores so the other person doesn’t have to. This type of person likes people doing things for them so they don’t have to. For example, they had a long day and they still have to make dinner, so their partner makes dinner for them. This love language is difficult because it is easy to become a person that does everything for them.
This type of person feels love through hugs, kisses, sitting, playing with hair, just being as close as physically possible. This person just likes to be touched at all times, no matter how small. This can be potentially dangerous to relationships because some people have a bubble and can get irritated with constant closeness and touch. This could also cause moving too fast in relationship situations. I thought that this would be my love language, for sure, but I didn’t get it in the results. I started to realize that I do like physical touch, but I too have a bubble and do not want anyone touching me at certain times.
So I decided to take the Five Love Languages Quiz, if you want to take it yourself you can find it here.
My results revealed that I find love in words of affirmation and quality time.
If you are interested in the love languages I recommend watching the video that I did, linked below.
I am super interested in human behavior and what makes us love and how we love so this was right up my alley.
If you guys have any comments or questions, comment below as well as blog suggestions!
There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice – f. scott fitzgerald