I feel like I am having writers block. Theres a lot of thoughts in my brain but none of them are forming into words. I would say I get like this probably once a month, I just get stuck. I am feeling pretty empty these days and it isn’t as depressing as it sounds. I feel empty within myself, like I should be taking the opportunity to do more for myself you know? I believe I have so much potential that could be used for the greater and I’m just not really doing it or using it. I need something to fill my cup that isn’t cabernet sauvignon. I love to write and it feels weird to be going for a profession where those talents won’t be expressed. I am so excited to go into the healthcare system, but it lacks creativity. I used to write for an online platform where I had a set scheduled post per week, but then I entered college and I wasn’t of age to do so anymore.
I have always been a literature person, I used to make Powerpoints for my parents explaining why I should get a dog or short stories of my magical friends and I taking adventures across the globe. I had won poetry contests and short story contests too and had always been loved by my English teachers. But where did that spark go? This post wasn’t even going to be directed toward my decline in the writing aspect, but this is what its turning into and hey, content is content!
I had always wanted to be a journalist, but found it a dying field. My dream was to end up as a crime reporter / forensic scientist / Law and Order SVU aficionado. But I knew I had a passion for people, and I was always good at science, so that was where I turned. I have turned toward God so much in this time period, and I am not trying to tell you that is what you should do, but sometimes giving it up to something higher than yourself is comforting and empowering.
Long story short, I have this fire inside of me that’s a little wee flickering flame and I need it to be engulfing my soul once again. So I am going to list some challenges for myself this June / summer altogether and hopefully broadcasting this onto the internet will help me stick to it.
- Read at least 2 books a month . (The paper kind, not the online, fan fic type nonsense)
- Write more poetry
- Take a journal with me everywhere
- Brain dump every morning (brain dumping for those of you who do not know is is a complete transfer of accessible knowledge about a particular subject from your brain to some other storage medium, such as paper or your computer’s hard drive) https://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/brain-dump
- Write without constraint and without fear of judgement.
- Eat things that are not a burrito
These may seem like silly things, but honestly my mental health has been slipping and I can’t keep getting tattoos to fix that! I hope that my literally brain dump of a rant inspires some of you to go after that dream you’ve always wanted, that flame in your belly. Even if it means a change of heart or change or direction, stick with it. Writing was going to be my job, so was video production (that’s another story), but my heart took me towards healthcare. Stop putting the pressure on yourself to do the best you can so quickly! I literally have laid in bed the last 3 days feeling like garbage for me to finally realize what the heck I was doing to myself.
You are all perfect beings and on the road to being your best self, no matter how long its taking you! So stay tuned to these more rant type posts and my more personal spiel.
Let me know if you have any other non-braindumpy ideas for my blog,